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Wednesday, April 30, 2014

Son of Batman movie review, have another drink

I love my children a great deal, but occasionally they may act in shameful ways.

I remember when my oldest son was at his first t-ball practice, and the coach asked all the 4-5 year old's what they wanted to name their team.  Of course they were throwing out names that represented their team as strong, fierce, and tough.  Someone shouted, "Warriors!", then "Bears", and so on.  As each name was put forth, they were being considered as the parents looked on fondly.  Then my son decided to pipe up, "The Beer drinkers!"  I just lowered my head in shame.  Not because it was a lame attempt at humor on his part.  I mean, the kid's only 4.  I'll actually give him the benefit of the doubt, and assume he felt that drinking beer was in some part attributed to manliness.  Of course this only upsets me more.  Real men drink liquor!  There's Brandy, Scotch, Vodka, etc.  Why beer?  What?  Are they going to be a bunch of freshman lacrosse playing frat boys anxiously waiting for their first gang bang?  Absolutely horrible.  And, horrible is what this stupid "Son Of Batman" was.

In the comics, DC decided for some dumb reason to have Batman raise a child.  Hasn't that been done, you may be asking yourself?  Well, yes.  But this time, it's his biological son, Damian that he didn't know about.  The guy carry's shark repellent just in case, but not a batcondom for the batweiner?   Honestly, you know you're going to see Talia All Ghoul, and you're not even hopeful about it? The son of Bruce Wayne and Talia Al Ghul, who I guess the first 7 years of his life or so, was raised in the league of assassins.  I'm not sure why DC did this.  I didn't think the franchise needed the addition.  Whatever, they did it.  I didn't care much for the storyline in the comics, nevertheless, DC doesn't care what I think, and decided to make it into a movie.  A movie which I would've naturally assumed the part of Damian would be played by Ted Mcginley.  Micginley would've been well cast here because I don't care how well trained you are, a 52 pound child is not going to physically cripple a 6'5" 340 pound, heavily muscled, well trained man in hand to hand combat.  Unless it's in the ever increasingly ridiculous world of DC comics.

Needless to say at this point, the animated movie i was watching about a guy who dresses as a bat was too absurd to finish.  Obviously I'm willing to suspend a great deal of disbelief to watch this, but this movie was all over the place with stupidity.  It's not worth going into detail about.  My final word is do NOT bother watching it.  It sucked!

The only thing worth seeing in this movie


  1. I don't understand the ted McGinley comment.

    1. RIght or Wrong, Ted McGinley is generally thought of as the actor who's brought in to play a new character in a show that's waning in popularity. Also, I wasn't referring to McGinley as the voice actor for Damian. I meant he should physically play the role, as to show it would be less silly than having a slightly built child beating the crap out of very large and well trained men.